serotonin season
serotonin season,
days of endless indulgence,
it's not the kind of happiness that easy come, easy go,
absolutely not the kind of happiness that leaves you weeping afterwards,
this is not dopamine,
it's serotonin,
grounded happiness,
captured in images,
and soon in words,
generally understood as the proudest photos that I've taken ever since buying my first camera.
chapter i. portraits
I know selfies are more exact but let's just ignore that for now and pretend these are portraits because it sounds good.
I always prefer selfies to having my photos taken by others. partly because of the intimacy, but mostly because of the flexibility to change the angles, lightings, poses on the spot and seeing immediate feedback on the screen.
photos are proofs how we are not what we are, but what we are shown as. I know how to show myself, not everyone though. I guess that's why it's always so hard to find a good photo of me taken by others. I may not be photogenic, but I know who I am when the camera is in my hand.
chapter ii. blackout
when the neighbors chat and gossip about the power outage, I take out my camera and take photos. honestly, you don't get to turn off every light in the house and turn on certains of them all the time. I've got to make the most of the situation.
this is an excellent opportunity to study single light sources. I experimented with various kinds of light, the natural like candle light compared to the artifical like phone flash light. each of them has a unique way showing texture.
it's called photography (writing - graph with light - photo) for a reason. light, together with the subject and your skills determine the final quality of your photo.
when I'm not taking photos, I'm studying light uses in danish lighting (hygge lighting) and in the 1975's videos and shows. in their second album, I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it (ILIWYS), most songs are accompanied by a neon sign (a tobias rylander to be more exact). I eventually realized that other than sound, lighting is crucial to a good live show. in the 1975's at their very best tour, the band even took it one step further to stage design, which makes everything sounds, looks, and feels just ethereal.
keep lighting in mind the next time you come to a music festival.
chapter iii. the lourve museum as a matter of perspective
beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I guess we can all agree about that.
my home is no mansion or penthouse. when you look down, it isn't a very appealing place. our living room is filled with carton boxes from containers' shipments. however, if you look up, you'd see this part of the sky that looks just like the lourve museum given the crosses that it had to shine through. and when you get to the garden and look from the right angle, you'd see this miniature of the babylon hidden within potplants that you've often forgotten.
why should we pity the unfamous yet understood? I think it's time we pity the famous that's not understood or misunderstood. I mean the kind of place that you go just because it's a tourist attraction, where people come to take photos and no time to learn about its history.
but I think to fully understand what a building is and what it contains, there's no way better than living in one of them. there's always a difference between visiting something and actually living with it. pretty much like dating and marriage, I think. it's all about the experience and not just the theory.
no matter what it is, it is home. I don't think I hate home as an architecture that much, sometimes I just hate the people inside it. our home can get just as emotionally distant as edward hooper's nighthawks painting.
chapter iv. đà lạt
đà lạt was actually not initially named đà lạt, but đạ lạch. just like how foreigners read madagasikara into madagascar (yes, its actual name is actually madagasikara), đà lạt forms as a result of people adjusting the tones of đạ lạch (I have to admit that it's easier to read đà lạt compared to đạ lạch).
with vietnam being home to 54 ethnic groups, đạ lạch originates from the language of the lạch people, not vietnamese. this is one of the three branches of k'ho people living in nothern lâm đồng (the province that đà lạt is in). in k'ho language, đa, đạ or đăk (as in provinces like đắk lắk and đắk nông) means stream, while lạch (lạt) refers to the lạch people. with that being said, đà lạch or đạ lạch means the stream of the lạch people.
as I've said above, being at home is less about the place you're living in, but who you're living with. the same applies to travelling or watching the fireworks. we think we're waiting for something to happen or getting somewhere, but we've always been there. life is a journey to the fullest. there would be no point trying to get to the endpoint, which is death, as the sense of companionship, togetherness, and belonging was meant to be enjoyed all the way along.
chapter v. the garden of (earthly de)lights
the garden of earthly delights is a painting that took hieronymus bosch 20 years to paint (I mean look at its deatails). the garden of light is the one that we went to in đà lạt. I think it's honestly a mix of both, of light and earthly delights. there was light, and there was also this inexhaustible yearning for self expression.
this was similar to the blackout night, as it provided me with endless opportunities to see how light interact in a controlled condition. I love how stunning these photos came out to be.
I've told you, lighting is everything.
chapter vi. candlelights
according to the economist, the danes are the biggest consumers of candles. being a northern europe country, candles started out as a necessity and worked its way to be ingrained in danish's hygge culture. before there were artificial lights, the danes' obsession with light design probably started with candles and creating atmosphere.
on choosing candles
I got myself a scented candle from the trip to đà lạt; however, I felt like it was a scam. its round shape means that it was hard to light it without the help of a toothpick. the wick was short so I ran out of it before all of the candle was burned. this is not to mention how melted candle just put out the last remaining bits of wick.
when the candle burns, its decoration burns with it. I had to pick them out by hand since I got tired blowing the candle out and litting it again. the only good thing is probably how the wick's low position regarding to the lid allows the candle to burn better despite the wind.
that was about light. the smell? I can't smell any when it's being burned, although you can smell them when they're not lit.
the next time you buy candle, or at least as a note to myself, go for the tall ones. they work.
in spite of everything, I managed to shoot some very cool photos with the brothers karamazov using candle as the main lighting source. although most people'd prefer alyosha to dmitri and ivan (including me), I believe that together the three brothers shows different facets of humanity, with dmitri being the horny one, ivan being the overthinking one, and alyosha being our conscience.
chapter vii. 穷开心 (qiongkaixin)
I've been learning chinese lately thanks to my obsession with manhua and cpop. in terms of grammar, chinese grammar makes much more sense compared to english, french, and spanish (those that I've attempted). french grammar are nuts. as if english plural and singular weren't enough, it added the gender to make everything delightly harder for no practical reason. design is function not fashion, then french is fashion not function. I'd like to save my self some brain space learning le la les l' and mon ma mes, ton ta tes, son sa ses, notre nos, votre vos, leur leurs (this is only the tip of the iceberg) by learning chinese characters instead. at least chinese radicals have meaning.
I came across a song called 穷开心 (qiong kai xin) a few days ago. the vietnamese equivalent of 开心 means khai tâm, or mở tim (open your heart). 穷 is cùng in vietnamese, but it's not the one in cùng nhau (together), but in cùng cực (hard times). as a whole, it means open your heart despite the difficulties (not open your heart together). its joyful tune reminds me of world cup music, a time where music was not filled with hatred and jealousy as it is today. to be honest, I really miss songs like these.
beside chinese characters, I also find greek characters aesthetically pleasing. however, they're good in bits, not as a whole document as it bugs my eyes.
chapter viii. the attic
it's not merely a place, it's a sensation and a living memory.
Comments
Post a Comment